Over-Communication?

Let me get one thing out there right off the bat: there is no such thing as overcommunication, but you can talk too much.  Like Lucy Ricardo or Barney Fife, you can definitely run your mouth too much.  Or like Mallory from Family Ties.  And every character in Friends.

And I know I said 'one thing' but allow me expand to two things: you can talk too much and you can say too much.  Those are different.  However, you cannot over-communicate, so I'd like to reconcile the differences between communicating, talking, and just saying stuff.

For the purpose of a simple, self-scrawled definition, 'communication' is a
message with a purpose and and an associated action, regardless of whether it is implied or directly stated.

Talking, quite simply, is the act of saying words.  Communication often involves talking, but not all talking is really communicative.  Sort of like a square and a rhombus.

'Saying stuff' ends up as pointless babble that wastes everyone's time and could potentially get an individual, a team, or a company into hot water.  Again with the square and the rhombus: it's a lot of talking without much communicating.

All three of these things are all over professional alliance relationships.  Diagnosing which is which before they occur is the real skill that can help teams to fuse their focus into one cohesive vision.  The ability to triage during or after is another valuable tool that will surely take you far in your alliances career.

And, before we delve into how we develop these abilities let's explain why you can't over-communicate in the first place.  The answer is right there in that definition a couple of paragraphs up - if there is a purpose to the message and there is an associated action to be performed, people need to know about it.  True communication is actionable, and once the action has been completed you can move on.  Hence, no such thing as over-communication.

Fair enough.  But can we then conclude that there is such a thing as over-talking?  Of course there is.  You know this inherently.  The real question is: "How do we prevent our people from over-talking?"  Or worse, just saying a bunch of stuff that can get everyone into hot water.

1. Is this actionable?  Have we said enough already to form a plan that we can put in motion?  Is everyone on the same page?  Once all of that is done you should swiftly move forward.  If the plan is clear and your people know what they should be doing, the time for talking is over.  One great way to diagnose if this is happening is to determine if people are asking questions.  And, better yet, are the questions seeking to clarify the action or are they just stalling for time?  (If someone asks "why do we have to do this?" in a whiny tone... it doesn't count as a clarifying question.  You know what I'm talking about.)  If your people still have valid questions, the plan is not clear and more communication is required.
2. Don't Sell Past the Close  In the sales world there is a saying that you should never 'sell past the close.'  What that means is that if the prospective customer has already made a buying decision you need to stop talking because you cannot further convince them, you can only do harm to your potential sale.  It is the same way with all sorts of other discussions in business and especially in alliances.  If you are sending an actionable message, look for signs that it has been accepted.  Those signs could be overt confirmation in a verbal affirmative or more subtle body language (head nod, etc.) or even some potentially tricky responses that require you to read between the lines.  That last one can be problematic since it can take many forms, including questions like: "If we do this how will I know it will succeed?"  In a question like that they are telling you they are going to go forward and the objection has shifted from whether you will do it to how you will measure success.  The close takes many forms like this, but when your colleague is ready to move forward you need to stop talking, or at least to start moving to the next topic.  (In the above case you move from convincing them to do the action and on to how success will be measured.)
3. You've Got Two Ears and One Mouth for a Reason  We need to get better at asking 'why.'  Or, as one of my sales managers at Cisco used to say, "Always ask what's next.  'If we do this, what then?'  And then, you need to want to know what is after that.  And what comes after that.  Be obsessed with it."  We've got to train ourselves, and our people, to focus on what the other side cares about as well as the path to power.  It's a matter of, I dare say it, fusing the focus (just like our blog's title) of the two organizations.  You have to find out what is important to them, combine it with what is important to you, and then map out how it can be accomplished.  When you get this, you will immediately do more question asking and a lot more listening.  This is a crucial skill that relates directly to the topic at hand.

And, considering the topic at hand is delivering an actionable message and the prevention of over-talking, it's probably best to sign off for today.  Remember: focus on action, understand when you have a 'yes,' and know what comes next.